It’s amazing to not feel like a prisoner in my own body anymore. To not cry & actually feel like there’s hope. I went through the longest time feeling asthough my heart would take over and maintain like that until the day I died. It scared me. I’m a very emotional person and I always will be. I also don’t fall in love & develope strong feelings for peope easily. But when I do, I fall pretty hard. If I’ve learned anything in the past year or so, it’s to never doubt yourself. Love is a scary thing but it is also a very beautiful process. Not everything is for certain, but not everything will end. You just have to take chances. And no matter if those chances taken are forever lovely or end in a way which breaks your heart completely, always keep your head held high. Things will be hard; they might even bring you down to a place so low that you feel like nothing in the world will ever bring you back up like they did with me. But given time, as much time as you need, everything will be golden. I promise.
In the near future, I want to find that one girl. I want to feel that strong passion again through out my body of truly being in love. Not someone just to have because I’m lonely, but someone who actually means something amazing. I want to be with this person forever; treating me with respect, comfort, & kindness as I will do the exact same. Anything to make them happy, at all times. I want to walk down the wedding aisle, look at her, and just know we were meant to be together forever. I want to wake up every morning cuddled up with this person feeling as safe as ever. Come down stairs, make pancakes on rainy mornings, & dance like freaks in the kitchen as they sizzle. I want to come home from work everyday knowing I’m returning to an incredible, faithful wife and our beautiful children. I want to take wonderful family trips together to the beach, the mountains, anywhere. I just want to be together. But most importantly, I want to lay my head down on the pillow every night knowing that I actually mean something great to someone. Knowing I have the life I’ve always wanted.
Someone who will always be there for you. Someone who will be proud to call you their own. Who will take you out on the town, late nights… pulling you close. Who will treat you with respect. Someone who cares and never wants to see even one tear fall from your eye. Someone who makes sure that everyday, they let you know how much they love you. Someone who drives 50 miles just to bring you chicken noodle soup because you feel a little under the weather. Someone who holds you tight during thunderstorms. Someone who will get their ass beat at Mario and still attack you with kisses. Someone who will give you butterflies just by the sound of their name. Who will put you above the world. Someone who loves you for you and nothing more. Someone who knows exactly what you like, exactly what you crave. Someone who will wake up on a Saturday morning and make fluffy pancakes with you. Someone who tells you all the time how much they want to make you their partner. Someone who can talk like that but at the same time, be your best friend. Someone who will wrap you in their arms and watch the sun set in the sand. Someone who will make you feel incredible even at the worst of times. Someone who will make you feel beautiful. Someone who sees you for more than just a gorgeous face, but also a truly great person. Someone who tells you they will never leave… and actually keep that promise. Someone who loves you. Someone you love. Someone who will make your life complete.
Isn’t that what we all want?