It’s a bitch to have her on my mind as much as she is. It’s been a while now, you’d think I’d be over everything. But I knew from the very beginning that she was going to be the one person I’d always love no matter what, always care for. And it’s not like it’s a bad thing. It’s not like I can control anything. It is what it is. Perhaps one day, years from now, we can randomly meet in some coffee shop, talk about silly shit, and exchange numbers like it was all brand new. But I can’t be selfish anymore. She’s now with a girl who makes her happy. Sure it stings a little bit, it always will. But I hope this happiness for her continues. I really do. Just gotta learn to let go and live your life. And I intend to do just that.
I swear to god, nowadays, people get into relationship after relationship just because they’re bored. It’s quite pathetic actually.
In the near future, I want to find that one girl. I want to feel that strong passion again through out my body of truly being in love. Not someone just to have because I’m lonely, but someone who actually means something amazing. I want to be with this person forever; treating me with respect, comfort, & kindness as I will do the exact same. Anything to make them happy, at all times. I want to walk down the wedding aisle, look at her, and just know we were meant to be together forever. I want to wake up every morning cuddled up with this person feeling as safe as ever. Come down stairs, make pancakes on rainy mornings, & dance like freaks in the kitchen as they sizzle. I want to come home from work everyday knowing I’m returning to an incredible, faithful wife and our beautiful children. I want to take wonderful family trips together to the beach, the mountains, anywhere. I just want to be together. But most importantly, I want to lay my head down on the pillow every night knowing that I actually mean something great to someone. Knowing I have the life I’ve always wanted.